Wordy Harry: Maximum Impact II

Wouldn't like you to miss one of the winning entries in the annual Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest for writing the worst opening sentence for a novel. (The annual contest is named after the writer who coined the ultimate cliche opening: "It was a dark and stormy night.") The contest is run by San Jose State University and the complete list is available here.

Personally, we like the second place winner best. Stuart Vasepuru of Edinburgh, Scotland. parodied the well-known lines spoken by Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry.

"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' — and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' — well do you, punk?"